I Wrote This For You.

I spent so much time trying to hate you that I probably ended up hurting you when I shouldn't have. I realize this. And I realize that you've made me out to be the bad guy because I moved on when you still loved me, but don't you forget where this began. Don't you dare forget what brought us to that climactic end, and who played who first. Perhaps you did forget, in which case, let me remind you...
You left me first. And second. And third. And fourth. And fifth...
You humiliated me. You made me look like a fool. You lied to me. You fed me bullshit I never should have believed. Maybe I was stupid for not leaving sooner (and I'm sure I was). Then, no one wanted to see me with you. No. One.
Now, I'm the bad one for running away. Because to everyone else you seem like the best boyfriend in the world, right? You loved me unconditionally and you were persistent to the point of emotional instability and you told everyone you loved me and how much I hurt you when I denied that love. But you know what? People can believe what they want. Maybe I was a bitch for leaving when you were finally trying to better yourself and our relationship, but I think after an infinite number of chances to change I am entitled to my decision to leave. You are I were like the game you play over and over but can never seem to win. Eventually you just have to give up--it's not worth the fight. Like that sweatshirt you wear practically every day for years, never take it off, sleep with it on, inseparable. It's comfortable, yes, but don't you think it's time you take a chance and see if there's something better?
Now, I don't mean to imply that you're a terrible person because I truly don't think you are. But everyone else seems to have forgotten where we began and the absolutely intolerable bullshit you put me through to begin with. Fortunately, I haven't. It's easy to be with someone who loves you. Comfortable. Safe. It's hard to stick to your word and jump off a cliff of unknown height into an abyss of unknown depth for an undisclosed amount of time of trials, fluctuations and loneliness. I care, as I've told you a million times before. You are a beautiful person and your friendship is unlike any other. I wouldn't say these things if I didn't care, and I certainly wouldn't care if I was that heartless bitch you make me out to be.

Anything I've ever done that has hurt you, I never meant to do. So why are you so insistent on hurting me?